Wednesday, June 28, 2006


Just now I was driving in the horrible-driver part of Hollywood and a woman inched the head of her car in front of me so I couldn't go - and so she could talk to the guy in the car facing the other way at the light. He got out of his car to give her passes to his party. I honked like "people, I'm right here and we're supposed to be driving" but they didn't even flinch to acknowledge what in the world they were doing. P.S. Thanks for reading, b.i.cuspid!

Monday, January 30, 2006

When we're anonymous...

I have this new job and I love the people I work with. One guy recommended a route to try on the way in. While I was taking that road, someone in a car flipped me off. I thought it was because I didn't let him in and I'm sure he had to get to work but so did I. Plus I was busy eating Trader Joe's Mueslix out of the box and only focused on that and the road ahead. So I gestured "What?!" I could see in my rearview mirror he imitated my gesture "What?!", so I repeated it: "What?!" When I got into the office I told the guy who suggested that route that not only was there too much traffic but someone flipped me off. He said, "Um. I have to tell you something. That was me." He said he was mortified and "I would have never done that if I knew it was you." I said, "I would have let you in if I knew it was you." He offered to buy me a muffin but I already ate.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

I've Been Flanged

My car needed to be jump started twice this week and when I brought it in the second time they said the warranty would cover the battery (I bought it from them under two years ago so it should) but that it would cost $60 to install it. (Isn't that the price of a battery?) Then they told me I also had a leaky flange. I paid $190 for that leaky flange three weeks ago so either they didn't repair it in the first place or they forgot to mark down that they already pulled the flange scam on me the last time.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Tour of Doody

Saturday morning, I'm heading east on Hollywood Blvd. in the left lane, I get behind a sedan with Washington State plates. The guy drives like molasses in winter (under 20mph). He's clearly sight-seeing, pointing out the Capitol Records building up Vine. Up goes my dander. I honk. The guy, who's not ancient, gets flustered, but doesn't speed up. I honk again. Instead of pulling to the right, he swerves into the lane of oncoming traffic. I speed past, watching the guy pull a crazy, illegal U-turn in my rear view mirror. If you want to sight-see, take a bus.

Show a Little Urgency

Here's the thing: You need to drive according to the tone of the city you live in. If you're in Fort Lauderdale, don't expect to drive over 30mph. I live in Los Angeles. Los Angeles is a city where people are going places. And fast. If you're going to drive like Grandma, perhaps you should move to the Sunshine State.

Take a Penny, Throw a Penny

On my way to work this morning, heading west on Hollywood Blvd. I'm in the left lane riding at a decent clip. The right lane slows down a bit because of a bus making a stop and a silver Beamer, with the vanity plate "SPAGS 1," pulls into my lane abruptly, forcing me jam on my brakes. I honk loud and long. The guy doesn't care. He continues yakking into his earpiece. My rage goes from 0 to 60. I reach into my arm rest, grab a penny and pull up alongside "SPAGS 1." He doesn't look my way. I whip the penny at him and drive off. Later, I feel a bit of remorse. But I'll bet "SPAGS 1" doesn't.

What This Site Is All About

So often when we're in our cars, drivers pull outrageous maneuvers that aren't fair, are downright dangerous and turn us into gutter-mouthed rage-aholics. In an effort to help curb your anger and ours, we welcome you to share your experiences.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Get Off Your F---phone

I was just in the parking lot at the supermarket and some idiot is driving on the left side. I brake fast and her car is facing me. I wait, assuming she'll go around to the correct side of the road and you know what she does? She makes a left in front of me, no signal, nothin, gliding through empty spots still going the wrong direction. You know why? Because she was on her goddammmmm cell phone too busy to drive.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Merging is not that hard

I know it's the day before a holiday weekend but that doesn't make it excusable for two cars to cut in front of me instead of merging one at a time like we all know it's supposed to go. I honked I was so pissed and who honks on the highway?

Sunday, December 18, 2005

What's a flange?

In LA having a car is new to me because in NYC I only used the public transpo. But since all the icons on my Cabrio dashboard were flashing I finally dragged my ass to bring it to the dealership. The guy said there was an expensive problem with the "flange". I'm sure I'm being taken. What's next, a widget?

Right On Red

On my way to see H. today, I was trying to make a right onto Santa Monica Blvd. and there was a woman ahead of me not making the right on red so I honked but she wouldn’t go. When the light turned green I pulled ahead of her and she gave me the finger and I gave her the finger back. Happy Fucking Holidays!